Human beings NOT classified by the EU as ‘biological economic devices’


I rarely click on Ian Parker Joseph’s twitter links, he is after all the main reason I felt I couldn’t join the UKLP. He does a great job of illustrating why it’s good that he is no longer the leader today.

This was his tweet :

An idiot, earlier

Good god! Could that be true ? That would be dynamite. Worth a click for once.


Well no, of course, it isn’t true at all. It’s not even hyperbole, it’s just bullshit. Pure and simple. I can’t be arsed to fisk Ian’s godawful post in its entirety, so lets just pull out the relevant parts. Ian says :

Over the past week, as the result of being passed some high level academic reports in the field of technology and ICT reasearch, I have been doing my homework, researching the claims made in the documents, and looking for corroborating EU documentation.

OMG! So far so shadowy. He was passed some “high level academic reports”, bloody hell! No. He wasn’t. The report that he refers to is in fact on line here which of course just adds to the hilarity when Ian promises to email anyone a copy, and subsequently ‘makes it available’ in a download. How fucking generous of him.

For whatever reason he decides that he doesn’t want you to know that this is a freely available document. Presumably he feels it adds to his mystique. To everyone else, not linking to source is just plain fucking rude.

Citation needed

Enter one Ian Dent, allegedly of Cambridge University, although if that’s true they seriously need to sack the fucker. Ian is quoting from the linked document “Beyond Broadband – The True Cost Of Digital Britain” by the aforesaid Dent.

Here is the money quote from Dent’s ‘report ‘(his emphasis)

In computing terms (where the concept originated), an ‘attribute’ can be defined as: ‘a specification that defines a property of an object, element, or file . . ‘ An ‘object’ in this [computing] context can be defined as: a collection of co-operating objects . . . capable of receiving messages, processing data and sending messages to other objects and can be viewed as an independent ‘machine’ with a distinct role or responsibility . .
This is how each person will become defined within Grid profiling – as an object – a ‘Biological Economic Device’.

Wow, Just Fucking Wow

So Dent here goes from a straightforward definition of a computer science term (a definition which, incidentally, he hasn’t referenced) to suggesting that a phrase he has just made up based on it is how we will all become defined by the EU.


I would recommend against reading Dent’s eleven pages of poorly referenced and clearly delusional word salad, – which contains more than the average Daily Mail’s worth of ‘scare quotes’ – in it’s entirety. It will probably actually make you stupider. But this is just stupid. And for someone who is supposedly a Cambridge academic it is practically unforgivable. No citation, no reference. Not true.

Ian, however is prepared to report this as though it were some kind of hard, verifiable fact, rather than just some paranoid phrase that Dent coins on page 17 of his ridiculous screed.

Since Dent doesn’t cite any document that supports his delusion, perhaps the redoubtable IanPJ can help us out, since he states

(documents are there.. if you can find them)

Wow! Links to them ? No.

Seriously people, do better

I have no love for the EU, it’s a crawling horror of a bureaucracy, largely unelected and almost completely unaccountable, but for fuck’s sake people, shout them down for real things that they actually do, rather than just making shit up.

Sad fucks.


The Stinkiest Stink Bomb Of All ?

As mentioned in the previous post, normal insane profanity sprinkled ranting will now recommence.

The new LibCon coalition have spoken recently of ‘stink bombs’ and ‘mine fields’.

I wonder if the single biggest one might be the huge constituent of ‘wont work’ benefit claimants. Having been in the dole queue myself more than once, I am well aware that there are many people in receipt of state benefits who are desperate to get back to work.

On the other hand, because of both that experience and having lived in some rather desperately unromantic shite holes over the years, I am also well acquainted with the portion of benefit recipients who have no intention of ever getting a job, thank you very much. And that’s even assuming that anyone would hire them in the first place.

Which leaves a big tasty shit sandwich that we’re going to have to eat later. I don’t know what other parts of the UK are like, and at present, I am lucky enough to live in a rather pleasant part of my town, but round about these parts there are hordes of illiterate, unemployable, unskilled benefit claimants who – literally – wouldn’t work if you paid them. Estates full of them and their pastie dusted offspring.

So what are we going to do with them ? Well, it seems that we’re going to cut off their money if they don’t try and get a job. At which point, of course, since they are already living a life of casual criminality sprinkled with ankle tags and ASBOs aplenty, the fuckers are going to come round to your house and rob your stuff.

That List In Full

Now Panic And Freak Out

Let it never be said that I won’t admit it when I’m wrong. Well, sometimes anyway. Yesterday I opined that the LibDems approach to Labour was nothing more than par for the course negotiation, finding out if Labour had some counter offer that would make a LibLab deal the better one. I mean, if you were shopping for car insurance, you’d want more than one quote, so it doesn’t seem unreasonable to do the same when shopping for a future for the country. Personally I couldn’t imagine Labour being able to offer much, especially in terms of stability.

I will still maintain that this should have been the case, and maybe it still is, but then again, if it was the case, would the Conservatives have thrown in the desperate sounding last ditch offer of a referendum on AV ? And would they now be spinning like tops against a LibLab pact – though still not as badly as Labour, who are actually managing to spin both sides of the argument at the same time ? Surely if this was a move in the spirit I thought it was, it wouldn’t have been a surprise and the Conservatives would be maintaining their dignity – outwith the usual wingnuts whispering smears against Cameron into the ears of Mail hacks, obviously – until all the chips were down.

Who knows. Certainly not me. And until I do I think I will succumb to the prevailing meme, because the serious chance of a ‘progressive coalition’, frankly, appals me. Not least because I can’t get any fucker to explain to me what ‘progressive’ means.

It’s wrong, we should be grown up and just wait for negotiations to pan out, but hey, this way is more exciting.


It is 06:15 or thereabouts, no one has won. Labour have lost. The greens have an MP. Jacqui Smith Is out.

I am shitfaced and weird from red bull, blogging from my iPhone, and it is all, still, to play for.

Right now, Peter Mandelson is timesharing between putting together a legal challenge to the whole election and felating Nick Clegg,

Balls, sadly, kept his seat and remains a cunt.

But Labour lost. And will continue to lose even if they try to form a coalition.

The next hours and days will be fascinating, as much because they mark the end of the “new labour” project as anything else.

Or something.

Tired,drunk,strungout,hopeful. And now there will need to be some fence mending. As kirsty wark is wont to say, more on that later.

Election Cat

Further Fuckmuppetry Of The Tribal Variety

Hot on the heels of the weeks previous posts about hideous tribal politics. Comes this.

You couldn’t make it up, and thanks to Labours reliance on the most nakedly tribal, lowest common denominator dog whistle kind of politics, you don’t have to.

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