PMQs Transcript : What happened after Cam went to the pub

I know everyone switches off after Cam has finished punching Gordon until he cries, so here’s a round up of what happened afterwards.

Green Plant : Gordon, I love you! Will You Save The World ?
Gordon: Yeah, baby.

Pie Mistress : I love you, I love what you’re doing with children, will you buy me a rabbit ? Tories hate babies!!!!
Gordon : Thanks for eating all the Pies. Yes, we love children, the Tories hate them, and EAT them!

Michael Moor : You fucking pension thief!
Gordon : Fuck off, they get free TV licences and a bus pass.

Random Single Issue Plant : I Love you! Will you do something for 6 people I know ?
Gordon : Thanks for licking me, of course I will.

Peter Bone : Can we have our EU rebate back please ? Tony only gave it up to buy the presidency
Gordon : No, you can fuck off. Europe is great. And after Tony has been prez, it will be my turn, BWAHAHAHAHHA

Dobbin : Will you start a health Nazi program to tell people what to eat please
Gordon : Fuck, yes, of course I will. I love poking my nose in where it doesn’t belong, I’m a socialist !

Ethrington : Haway the lads! HANG THE BANKERS !
Gordon : Yeah! Bastards!

James Posh : How green are you really ?
Gordon (Thumping claw ) : I AM THE GREEN GOD! FEAR ME AS HEAL MOTHER GAIA!

All : Bercow is a tosser!

So, now you know.

Reform, huwah! What is it good for ?

Someone floated a question on twitter yesterday asking

Can someone please explain why electoral reform is the answer to an expenses scandal?

I felt sure then that I knew the answer (because then you can talk about an election without actually having to have one), but now I wonder if it might not be that at all.

I wonder if the Labour Party is promising us reform – even though the only reform we asked for was for most of them and much of the opposition to resign pending public lynching and prosecution; in that order – as a bribe.

It is traditional for governing parties facing uncertain prospects in the next general election to offer the electorate some kind of bribe in the form of lower taxes, more spending, or draconian and poorly thought through knee jerk legislation against the demon de jour.

For a party facing certain annihilation the impetus to offer something that might convince us must be even larger.

But Labour has nothing left. The coffers are empty. They can’t promise lower taxes or a higher spend because there isn’t any money. After twelve awful years in power, much of which they have spent creating 3,000 new offences, criminalising and demonising their way through their long list of bogeymen, there isn’t room left for any more draconian knee jerk legislation than we’ve already got. At least not of the popular kind. Continuing one upmanship in this area has led to the point where the kinds of legislation still on the wish list are those that would have ashamed the East German Stasi themselves. DNA retention, universal surveillance, mandatory ID papers, etc. Hardly vote winners.

And it does seem that, despite the fact that everyone except the hardest core of activists and trot mentalists now openly despises them, the PLP genuinely believe they still have a chance of turning it round if they can just find that one winning policy. It truly is cargo cult politics.

Perhaps delusions are infectious ?

You are guilty of child abuse until we say you aren’t

Bad news for parents who chose to educate their children at home instead of sending them in to the soul destroying wasteland cherishing arms of the state education system.

A review of home education in England is expected to recommend a national registration scheme for home educators.

Now whenever the Stalinist apparatchiks of the state start talking about building a database ‘register’ of anything you just know that it’s only going to be the tip of a very unpleasant iceberg.

And so it proves to be in this case.

It is also expected to say local authorities should have the right to visit any child taught at home.

Because ?

the government has also been concerned that home education could be a cover for abuse.

Despite the fact that

the review has not found any evidence that home education was being used specifically to conceal trafficked children, or forced marriages.

So on exactly no evidence, the state demands the right to enter your home because they need to make sure you aren’t abusing your children.

And just so you don’t make the mistake of thinking that really this is just about local authorities responsibility to ensure children are educated

The review is not expected to propose any minimum standards or set subjects.

As Peter Hitchens points out in here

I haven’t any evidence that any members of the House of Lords abuse their children, because there isn’t any. But on this logic, that state of affairs would presumably entitle the Department ‘For Children’ to probe their Lordships’ House for evidence of such abuse.

This is, simply, a hysterical witch hunt. Worse, it is the state’s apparatchiks treating our children as their property.

It’s prime instigator is unpeakable harpy and Children’s Minister, Delyth Morgan. She clearly has a bee in her bonnet abut the who child abuse thing, and believes that the state must have primacy over our children, and the rights of parents, in order to protect them.

She also obviously has a prurient obsession with the sexual habits of others, as she issued a further press release this week that contains this absolute gem

The full extent of sexual exploitation is hidden as it mostly takes place away from streets in private homes. It can take many forms from the seemingly ‘consensual’ relationship where sex is exchanged for attention/affection, accommodation or gifts to serious organised crime and child trafficking. What marks out exploitation is an imbalance of power within the relationship with the perpetrator holding some kind of power over the victim, increasing the dependence of the victim as the exploitative relationship develops.

That’s right. Your relationship may seem consensual, but even you can’t be sure until you let Delyth Morgan Sex Stasi into your house to check. Presumably they like to watch.

Excellent coverage of the whole issue of Authoritarian Statists and the NSPCC vs HE, liberty and democracy can be found at Bishop Hill Blog.

That PMQs transcript in full

KAUFFMAN : (Reading from script) Tories!
GB: (Reading from script) Tories, tories, tractor stats. Tories, tories, now wash your hands.
DC: Call an election.
HMG : bwaaaa bwaaa bwaaa meeerrrr.
Mary Honey Monster : (Reading from script) I’m going to waster everyone’s time.
ALL : bwaaaa bwaaa bwaaa meeerrrr.
GB: (Reading from script) Tories, tories, tractor stats.
DC: Call an election you fucking liar.
GB: I don’t think so!

Honestly, it doesn’t even look like democracy any more.

Democracy and the BNP. An FAQ for the Righteous

Further to my previous post on the fascism of the anti-fascists, a few quick notes based on a heated debate that took place yesterday, and was no doubt repeated around the country.

Below are rebuttals to a few points that kept being made both on the net and on TV.

It is OK to abandon democracy and curtail freedom of speech for the BNP because they

Are criminals

So what ? So are millions of people who trip speed cameras. Do we deny then the right to an opinion ? You can not change the rules simply to fit one category of criminal that you don’t happen to like*. We deny suffrage to prisoners. Those who are not held at Her Majesty’s Pleasure are not denied any of their democratic rights.

Have vile policies and intents*

Indeed they do. But it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to agree with a party’s policies or intents in order to allow them a democratic voice. I don’t agree with most of the Labour manifesto. It is utterly irrelevant what their policies are. They are a legal political party with democratically elected representatives. Period. If no one else likes their policies, no one will vote for them. That’s kind of the definition of democracy.

Use violence and intimidation*

That may be so, although the only reports that I could dig up are in militant left rags that are hardly credible sources, but let’s assume that it is so.

But then again, there is this story

An arson attack at the Shrewsbury home of a British National Party member in the run-up to the local elections is being investigated by police.

A Union flag was taken from Alan Coles’s garden, in Underdale Road, and set on fire, in the final act of what he called a three-night campaign of abuse.

Mr Coles said it was not the first time he has been abused for his political beliefs.

He stood unsuccessfully for the BNP two years ago in local elections and during the campaign protesters broke his wing mirrors, made defamatory posters and put swastikas on the windows, he said.

That looks awfully like intimidation to me.

Or this one

POLICE say they have seized a deactivated Kalashnikov rifle, imitation handguns, knives and a number of devices “made from fireworks” as part of a terrorism investigation.

Two men aged 25 and 19, a 16-year-old schoolboy and a 20-year-old woman were this morning still being held at Launceston police station under the Terrorism Act.
…
The investigation came about after a sharp-eyed police officer stopped a 25-year-old man – believed to be Andrew Sprague – on Friday night daubing anti-fascist graffiti along the North Street subway under Exeter Street, just a couple of hundred yards from Charles Cross police station.

It is understood the man had sprayed the word “Antifa” – a militant anti-fascist organisation with international links.

Antifa eh ? Let’s look em up

PHYSICAL CONFRONTATION

Fascism is a violent ideology. Throughout history, fascists have used violence against those who oppose them. Antifa is a continuation of the antifascist tradition of confronting fascism physically when it is necessary. Physical confrontation is only one of our tactics though, we do not aim to fetishise it as one tactic above all others, nor will we allow a hierarchy to develop based on the kudos of street-fighting. If an individual member feels unable to engage on this level they are no less worthy as an anti-fascist than any other member of the group, however those with a moral problem regarding this issue should be advised that this is not the group for them.

Or this one

More than 30 gas-guzzling cars have been attacked by eco warriors, police said.

The tyres of the 4X4 vehicles were slashed and notes were left blaming drivers for climate change.

The campaign of destruction, over the last three weeks, has taken place in areas of Manchester popular with students.

The notes said the attack was not on the owner but on their choice of car.

Can you smell the hypocrisy ?

Represent a minority * viewpoint

No, don’t laugh. Donna Guthrie of Retards Unite Against Fascism told the BBC that it was OK to deny the BNP their freedom of speech (what’s left of it), which is legally defined as a basic human right because a) they are fascists and b) they got such a small share of the vote at the EU elections.

Really. So according to her, it’s OK to remove the human rights of minorities so long as they’re a minority that you really, really don’t like. Martin Smith made more or less the same point on Newsnight.

When did the Righteous have that meeting ?

And when the fuck did “I may not like what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it” become “No platform for fascists” ? Oh wait, yes, I remember now.

More on “No Platform” later, perhaps.

* Eagle eyed readers will notice that these are exactly the same arguments that fascists supposedly use to vilify groups and then, e.g. cart them off to death camps. If they are the wrong arguments when they are in the mouths of fascists then they are the wrong argument in the mouths of the UAF and their lumpen trot mentalist cohorts.

Earth Calling Labour : Just bugger off before you break something important

As the fat controller prepares to deliver his much trailed ideas about electoral reform, not that I can recall anyone asking him for any, I have simply this to say.

Go. Go now. Do not fiddle with anything before you go. We do not trust you. We do not trust the opposition. We want a general election. If we ever end up with a house that we feel that we can trust then let’s have this discussion, which we haven’t asked for, with them, then let’s have a referendum.

We do not want you to reform the electoral system, you will only corrupt it. We do not want you to reform the MPs expense system for the same reason. Simply publish the claims in full, that is all that is necessary. There is no need for an independent body to regulate MPs. MPs should be capable of regulating themselves. If they can not be trusted to do this, as you can not, then we need new MPs not a new system.

Please just bugger off now before you break something important that can’t easily be fixed. You have already destroyed your party, please don’t piss in the country’s chips on your way out.

Lords : Show us the evidence. Johnson : Mmm, poison!

Excellent news breaking on the beeb

Three terror suspects on control orders have unanimously won a major ruling over the use of secret evidence.

Nine Law Lords allowed the men’s appeals after they had argued they did not know what they were accused of.

Yes it turns out that you can’t possibly be considered to have had a fair trial if you aren’t presented with the charges or the evidence against you. Who’d have thought ?

The Law Lords have not quashed the men’s control orders, but instead ordered their cases to be heard again.

Only with the “evidence” this time. Good show.

Alan Johnson, immediately and enthusiastically gulping from the poisoned chalice gave the beeb a statement along the lines of

This is a very disappointing judgement, it is very important for the health of a free democratic society that the stasi security services be able to lock people up for years; then keep them under house arrest and convict them of unspecified crimes based on evidence that may not even exist. I would have thought that was obvious. We will of course be doing everything we can to reverse this terrible miscarriage of justice (i.e. that there is some). Mmm, lovely poison, can I have some more ?

There are only two types of evidence that are to secret to be heard in court, ‘intercept evidence‘ and heresay from ‘intelligence assets’. Neither of which would be allowed in a proper court of law in any case.

The government will fight this tooth and nail, through the Home Office and the Ministry of “Justice” *, and in the process Johnson will lose any credibility he might have had as labour Leader.

Malik – did nothing wrong and won’t do it again.

A poor day for democracy it seems.

According to the Telegraph the “independent”, review of Shahid Malik’s affairs conducted by Sir Philip Mawer, Brown’s glove puppet adviser on ministerial behaviour has showed that Malik’s financial affairs are just peachy as far as he’s concerned.

And you’ll have to take his word for it.

Asked whether Downing Street would publish a redacted version of the report, removing personal details, the spokesman said: “No.”

What happened to all this “sunlight is the best detergent” waffle we’ve been hearing then ? The same spokesman also

admitted that Mr Malik had agreed to put his tenancy arrangements on a more formal footing.

Thus confirming, a la mode, that Malik has done nothing wrong and is taking steps to make sure he puts it right.

Retards Against Fascism throw eggs, punches at griffin, fling poop in the eyes of democracy

So here we are again, the odious Nick Griffin MEP, leader of the BNP is about to give a press conference – as is he is perfectly entitled to do – and then Unite Against Fascism wade in, chuck eggs, cut up rough, punch and kick the BNP members, hospitalise someone and chase the BNP off.

I disagree with the BNP on practically everything but there is one point upon which we agree. As a legal political party, with elected representatives, they are as entitled to their opinions and the right to express to them as anyone else. Period.

Unite Against Fascism, however, disagree. Their spokeswoman has just told the BBC that the Griffin and BNP should have no right to a voice, that there should be no freedom of speech for them. They are prepared to enforce their No Platform! policy with violence. How odd, that the ‘anti fascists’ are prepared to suppress the opinions of those with whom they disagree by using force. Anyone with half a brain would call that fascism.

This was of course, a massive own goal. ‘No Platform’ always is. Always was, as those of us unlucky enough to witness its emergence in student union politics can attest. Within minutes of the scenes being aired on the BBC, emails and texts were being read out which said, universally, “I don’t agree with the BNP but …”. Yes, the retards at UAF have managed to actively raise sympathy for Nick Griffin from the British public. Around 93% of which wouldn’t ordinarily piss on him if he were on fire.

Nor did they deny him his platform, Griffin got interviewed at length by the BBC by phone and was able to make excellent political capital out of the whole thing, telling the BBC that UAF are an anti democratic militia supported by other political parties who wish to prevent him from exercising his democratic rights.

And you know what ? He’s right. Indeed one of the protesters was wearing a house of commons pass.

As befits a policy that had its genesis in student politics, ‘No platform’ is childish, spiteful and thoroughly counter-productive. It has no place in a mature democracy. Unite Against Fascism, and the left in general, are so intellectually bankrupt that they are totally unable to engage with the BNP like adults. Unable to allow them into the debate. Because they are terrified of loosing.

Utterly pathetic.

Cargo cult PLP roll over for trinkets

So craven are they that those of the PLP that bothered to turn up to Grodon’s tub thumping session yesterday – and according to Dale it was mostly the borg drones party loyalists in any case – were, with a few notable exceptions, pacified with the promise that one day there will be a proper prime minister (the pilot) and some real policy (the cargo).

For now, they seem to have accepted a few shiny meaningless policy trinkets. Nebulous baubles that will doubtless fail to materialise, or have little meaning if they do. For a start, they only have until May, how much policy can you really get into that gap ? Knock off a few months from the far end for the general election campaigning, a few off this end for all the supposed reforms, another few for Gordon to fly around the world on his magic carpet dispensing largesse to the world’s shattered economies and healing the sick and the lame, and what’s left ? Six months ? Less ?

It will take that long to just to write the terms of reference for an Iraq inquiry. As far as the post office issue is concerned, El Gordo can simply delay it, something he would probably have done anyway. He really has no choice since EU legislation says he has to open it up to competition and state monopolies don’t do competition.

He can just slide the issue off to one side and leave it as well poison for the nasty tories to deal with after they win a landslide at the next general election, boo hiss to them, destroying our national assets, etc.

Frank Field thinks they were terrorised into it, BoJo thinks they did it for the money.

Toynbee, of all people for god’s sake, nails it

Dazed, gripped by delusion, the party tonight bottled it

Worth a read just for the utterly surreal sight of Labour’s in house rag and chief cheerleader putting the boot very firmly in.

Whatever it was that caused them to fold it was a mistake. As I blogged yesterday, failure at this point to remove Brown and have an election will damage the labour party beyond repair. The PLP members who backed Brown last night have failed not only to put country before party but failed to put the party before themselves, choosing to lash themselves to the mast of a sinking ship.

As Red Ken is so busily pointing out on the news channels though, it isn’t just the PLP that Brown is beholden to, there’s the rest of the party as well. The activists and the unions, I can’t help wondering if Byers launching his attack from the Progress meeting is a sign of things to come. There was some awful borg drone progress labour loyalist on TV afterwards rolling out the now familliat “Gordon’s poo smells of roses” spin, but reports from within the meeting beg to differ, as this tweet shows

A very clear majority of the room @ Progress meeting in future of Labour applaud Stephen Byers call for Gordon Brown to stand down #progress

mattcooke2012   Jun 8   20:19

It is in the interests of the PLP to stay where they are, they’re mostly going to lose their jobs anyway. those that aren’t due to outright lose their seats will likely be replaced by their constituency parties bringing in ‘clean skins’ in a a desperate attempt to garner support.

I imagine that the rest of the party members, who have no seats to forfeit, no salaries or pension benefits to lose, and with lifetimes of emotional and financial investment, will feel somewhat differently about the prospect of seeing it sacrificed at the alter of avarice

Oh sweet, sweet, irony.

UPDATE : Paul Waugh of the Standard, who did an entertaining job of reporting the event via twitter, has the inside skinny including this gem

The biggest laugh of the evening came when Geraldine Smith, a leading rebel on the Royal Mail plans, said: “Something very strange happened to me on Sunday morning, watching Andrew Marr….I started to love Peter Mandelson.” The Business Secretary is said to have allowed himself a small smile.

Yes, yes that is strange. Vile bootlick.

Smith went on to say Brown was the best man on the economy Labour had.

And that, my dear trot mentalists, is exactly the problem.